A Gentle Guide to Weaning: Navigating the Transition for You and Your Baby
A Gentle Guide to Weaning: Navigating the Transition for You and Your Baby
Weaning is the gradual process of shifting your baby away from breast milk or formula toward solid foods, is a significant milestone in your baby's life and yours as a parent. Whether you're transitioning from breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, it’s a time of change that involves patience, love, and understanding. The process can look different for every family, depending on your baby’s readiness, temperament, and your own goals.
Some babies wean naturally over time, while others may need more patient encouragement. Weaning is a developmental milestone, and often quite emotional- the key is to respect both your and your baby's needs throughout the process.
Here’s an overview of key ideas, tips, and support you might need as you navigate this transitional phase.
When Should You Start Weaning?
Every baby is different, and so is every parent’s experience with weaning. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends breastfeeding for at least the first six months of life, and up to two years and beyond based on the mother and child. A child who self-weans is usually well over a year old. You should continue to nurse or bottle-feed while starting to introduce solids as solids provide only a small amount of nutrition and your baby will rely on breastmilk until age one (or formula if you are combination feeding).
If you’re planning to stop breastfeeding or bottle-feeding earlier than your baby might naturally choose, it’s important to know that you don’t have to rush. It’s perfectly normal for some children to continue nursing or drinking formula beyond their first birthday. Because nursing or bottle feeding your child brings such a sense of comfort and connection with you, it is very important to continue fostering that closeness with lots of one on one time, cuddling and personal attention, so that your child doesn’t perceive a distance or detachment from you as you make this transition in your relationship. Signs that weaning may be going too fast include clinginess and tantrums, an increase in night waking, new thumb or pacifier sucking, digestive issues, withdrawal or aloofness, or an increased fear of separation.
Weaning Gently: The Gradual Approach
The easiest way to wean is gradually. This allows your baby to adjust to new foods and drinks, while also helping your body adjust to producing less milk. Gradual weaning can take weeks or even months, depending on you and your baby’s pace.
Here are some tips to make the transition smoother:
Start by Replacing One Feeding at a Time
Begin by replacing one breastfeeding or bottle-feeding session with a solid meal or a cup of water or milk. This can reduce the shock for your baby, who may still crave the closeness and comfort of nursing or bottle-feeding.
Offer More Solids
As your baby becomes more comfortable with eating solids, you can begin offering more variety and quantity of food. This can naturally decrease their desire for milk.
Skip or Shorten Feedings
Gradually skip or shorten certain feedings, especially those that are more for comfort than for nutrition, like late-night feedings. If your baby protests, you can gently comfort them in other ways.
Provide Emotional Comfort
Weaning can be an emotional process for both you and your baby. If your baby is upset by a missed feeding, offer extra cuddles, love, and comfort. Your emotional presence can help ease the transition.
Weaning Strategies & Tips
The gentlest active method of weaning can be described as “don’t offer, don’t refuse”. In only nursing when it is initiated by your child, the amount of nursing drops off over time, while still putting your child’s needs first. Simply cease to offer breast or bottle, while always allowing your child to nurse when they express interest.
A more active approach to weaning would be dropping one feeding at a time. Slower is better for both you and your baby- create a schedule in which you eliminate one feeding each 3-7 days. Avoid going faster than this. Many moms like to eliminate one nursing session per week, as this allows your milk supply to decrease slowly, avoiding discomfort and fullness. When choosing which feeding to eliminate, pick the one that is least important for your baby. You can offer a snack or distraction instead of nursing, or begin to shorten that particular nursing session. Nurse as usual for all other times. Once you have comfortably eliminated this feeding, you can move on to the next session you wish to drop. Continue at this pace, adjusting as needed to support your baby if they become fussy, get sick, or are teething. Still prioritize their comfort, not refusing if they are insistent. The last feedings to go are usually nap time, bedtime, and first-thing-in-the-morning. It is perfectly normal for a baby to drop all but one feeding and hang on to it for a while.
Postponement can be a useful trick while weaning. When your child asks to nurse, tell them “Not now, but later.” Often your child will get too busy with something else, and “later” never arrives. Distraction is another good tool to use when dropping feedings. Anticipate when your child will want to nurse, and instead have ready a favorite snack, pastime, outing, playtime or favorite book. You’ll be most successful if you can employ the distraction before your child wants to nurse.
Sometimes a change in routine can be helpful in guiding the weaning process. If you notice that your child seems to want to nurse more when he is somewhere unfamiliar, try to stick close to home as much as you can as you wean. On the flip side, if your child tends to want to nurse when they are comfortable at home, plan to spend more time participating in fun activities away from your home.
How to Handle Nursing Strikes and Resistance
Weaning doesn’t always go smoothly, and your baby may resist or even go through a temporary "nursing strike" where they refuse to breastfeed. This is a normal part of the weaning process. Here are some things to try if your baby is having trouble letting go of breastfeeding or bottle-feeding:
Keep Offering Comforting Alternatives: Sometimes, the problem isn’t the milk—it’s the need for closeness. Try holding your baby or offering comfort in other ways, like a cuddle, a soft toy, or a favorite blanket.
Stay Calm and Patient: Weaning can trigger an emotional response from both you and your baby. If your baby is resisting, it may be due to a need for extra reassurance, or they may just not be ready to let go. Be patient and flexible.
Revisit the Timing: It’s okay to pause the weaning process if your baby seems particularly unsettled. Perhaps you can wait a little longer and try again once they are more comfortable with the idea.
Common Concerns During Weaning
Here are some common concerns parents may have when weaning:
Milk Supply: As you reduce the number of breastfeeding or bottle-feeding sessions, your milk supply will naturally decrease. If you're nursing, this happens gradually, but you might still experience engorgement or discomfort. You can hand express or pump to relieve pressure if needed.
Nutrition: Once your baby stops breastfeeding or drinking formula, it’s important to ensure they get enough nutrition from other sources. Make sure your baby’s solid food intake is balanced and includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins, and dairy or dairy alternatives.
Emotional Impact: Weaning can be an emotional experience for both you and your baby. For you, it might mean the end of an era, while for your baby, it can be a transition to a new phase in their development. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s okay for your baby to miss the comfort of nursing or bottle-feeding- you can mitigate these feelings for the both of you by spending lots of quality time together and engaging in other comforting activities.
Sleep: Some babies may sleep worse during weaning, as they’ve become used to the comfort of nursing to fall asleep. If your baby wakes up more frequently at night, offer comfort in ways that don't involve feeding, like rocking, singing, or patting them to sleep.
Breast comfort: Warm showers of baths can help facilitate milk release. Hand expression or pumping can remove enough milk for comfort, and relieve engorgement. Be sure to watch for signs of plugged ducts or mastitis to ensure prompt treatment. (Add link re plugged ducts & mastitis)
Weaning The Older Child
All children reach an age of being ready to wean at different times. Some may be ready, or at least willing, at 18 months, while another may not be ready until closer to 2, 3 or 4 years of age. If your child is older and you are hoping to wean, talk to them! Gauge their feelings about the end of the nursing relationship to learn how you can best support them. Some mamas with older children may throw a “weaning party”, or offer a reward for them making the decision.
Where to go from here?
Weaning is a bittersweet milestone, but it also opens the door to new opportunities for both you and your baby. As your baby moves to more solid foods, they gain new independence and you can enjoy more flexibility in your routine. For you as a parent, weaning can also provide relief and freedom as your body adjusts to a new normal.
The process of weaning is about more than just giving up milk—it’s about nurturing your relationship with your baby as they grow and change. Take it one step at a time, and remember that there’s no one "right" way to wean. Listen to your baby’s cues, follow your instincts, and above all, be gentle with yourself during this time of transition.
Weaning doesn’t have to be stressful or rushed. By taking a gradual approach and being mindful of your baby’s needs, both emotionally and physically, you can help your child make this important transition with love and comfort. And, as you both navigate this change, remember that every parent’s journey is unique, and there’s no wrong way to go about it.
If you’d like one-to-one guidance during your weaning journey, contact our experienced team of IBCLCs on our website https://www.fullcrcl.co/schedulenow , or give us a call at (760) 274-0149 to schedule an appointment!