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These lines. I used to find them attractive. I used to think they were encouraging me, motivating me towards moving out of my “sluggish” winter body and into my new “vibrant” summer body. Until I realized my body was the same in winter and in summer, and that EVERY summer there was a new diet, a new 21 day workout plan from a glossy magazine and an endless supply of ways to change my body.

I felt like it was one of those cold hard life things- one of those things I was just going to have to deal with as woman. My self talk…It’s just a cold hard truth that I may never be satisfied with the width of my hips or stomach and dieting is one of those painful things I must encounter… Or! I’ll deal with accepting my body when I’m older, in a committed relationship, after I have kids, etc.

Until, a few things happened. I learned the actual effects of the media and the thin ideal, not just the elementary “models are airbrushed,” but the distortion that lies in our fashion and media industry. Cough, thanks to Jean Killbourne and my first feminist studies class in college.

I realized that loving my body is a CHOICE. I can choose to live in lies, dissatisfaction and comparison or I can CHOOSE to love my body by respecting its ability to produce life, support me throughout each day and relish in the fact that my body is able and you know, alive. I was tired, and realized I had the choice every single day to chose to accept and love my body right here and right now.

I realize that there is an abundance of “loving you body” posts out there, and various ways to practice it- and I encourage those! However, I also know that if your tired and are considering what it might look like to make the choice to love your body that there is a grieving process you have to endure. Yup. I know, because I’ve been there. Here’s Why.

Its Socially Acceptable to Hate Your Body

Body Bashing, Dieting, Excessive exercising, Cleanses are seen as a collective bonding experience among women. When you chose to love your body, your going to have to deal with the fact that you’ll no longer be invited to the next 2 week cleanse party with green juice and skinny elixirs, and your going to have to endure your girlfriends chatter of “I need to lose this 5 pounds for Vegas next month!

Hating Your Body is Everything You See & Hear

It’s everywhere. Literally. Who would the fashion, cosmetic and media industries profit off of it we didn’t have something we have something we wanted to change? The solution:  Get rid of it! Clean out your social media, fill your head, mind and heart with positive messages. If its means deleting your favorite dieting bloggers Facebook page, or unfollowing fitspiration posts… then so be it. When you choose to get rid of it maybe you might realize you have space to look at and read things that focused on more than food, fitness and changing body size…like you know things that interest you!

If I love my body, I’ll lose control

 I get it. Your worried. Culturally- we think when we love our bodies, they won’t be seen as attractive because we will lose control. Realistically- when we love something we take care of it and it’s needs. When were in tune, we find what foods bring us pleasure, health, vitality and energy

If you’ve restricted foods you love, you’ll go through a phase of incorporating those foods back in & soon see that you can trust your hunger and fullness and are perfectly capable of making choices that make you feel best. Let it happen without judgement and you’ll soon see you’ve taken away the power from food (i.e you discover you really don’t need an entire bag of Cheetos to help you feel satisfied, in fact you really don’t even like Cheetos anymore…) Weird.

Be Well,

Jaren